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teal gin
10 November 2020 @ 05:41 pm

please! don't hesitate to add me. there's nothing i enjoy more than reading about strangers and their lives.
teal gin
25 August 2014 @ 09:51 pm

For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Stephen Mitchell


"Some day after we have mastered the winds, the waves and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, humans will have discovered fire.”

-Teilhard de Chardin


The subject tonight is Love
And for tomorrow night as well.
As a matter of fact I know of no better topic
For us to discuss
Until we all

-Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky


"Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."

-Leo Tolstoy


"Any thought that is not filled with love seems unholy."

-André Gide


"Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you; pray for those who treat you spitefully."

-Jesus Christ


"Right now, we are appearing as the very light of consciousness, alive as love, although we may require some training, like an artist would, to fully offer our self as love's gift."

-David Deida from "Waiting to Love"


"There is no remedy for love but to love more."



"To love is to tilt with the lightning, two bodies routed by a single honey's sweet."

-Pablo Neruda


When I think of you,
fireflies in the marsh rise
like the soul's jewels,
lost to eternal longing,
abandoning my body

-Izumi Shikibu


Pillowed on your thighs in a dream garden,
little flower with its perfumed stamen,
singing, sipping from the stream of you --
sunset, moonlight -- our song continues.

-Ikkyu Sojun

teal gin
23 August 2014 @ 06:39 am
i'm so sick of pretty shit

the recipe for Change is = Dissatisfaction with status quo multiplied by Vision multiplied by First steps is greater than > Resistance to change
teal gin
05 June 2014 @ 03:06 pm




teal gin
30 May 2014 @ 11:44 am
dancing with the devil in the details, toxic friend residue, some motivational factors include ingredients unused, misdirected interstellarcourse, a mother's dream makes music that heals, self-doubt flirts for real and imagined at the same time. potentials lost, constant push and pulls. but snap out of it. some things you can't help, but that's what the free will surfboard is for - directing, orchestrating. there is always a mess to clean, but keep going, don't die. live! obsession with introverted introspection waits for no idle seconds. no excuse but to thrive. such gloom and doom cast aside with bright furniture and open, clean windows. make a home again. it's like a crazy person lives in my house. nobody died! i talked to space, and then my boyfriend told me not to give the unknown unseen any power to be and have control over me. hahaha i'm having so much fun being a maniac, mental masturbation. it's all well-understood. i like my herb, i like my sobriety too. reality is the worst acid trip ever. being tired and stupid is only fun for so long, but i sleep almost all of the day. and then there is an explosion of swelled up, unconscious laughter that arises out of nowhere inside of me, in the worst of places at the wrongest times in a scene that i will never fit in no matter how hard i'd try or even bother wanting to. so the drones look right through me and i can accept what agrees with my taste buds. but forget all that, brainbug disease, it's okay. i'm not afraid of anything, and even that is uncareful, teetering the edge. languages switch with every person, there are no worries involved. meghan used to make people nerrrrvoussss. i have no anxiety anymore. my brain traffic is funny, stop scrambling neurotransmitters. be good and breathe. do soul work. but i love goofing off. this is the time the universe gave you to set still in. i have work to do here, even though it's unreal, it's still something. for now. stop procrasturbating that, too, and find balance with baby steps. all right, round and round i went back to ground zero point one two three and then rollercoast spirals into stillness again. so kaleidoscopic nowness, how funny again. people make art here, that's nice. so much is missing, make it utopia, we needwant it. don't scream and shout, sneak in, have fun. i get yelled at a lot, but that doesn't need to happen if i wow and inspire more. so stagnant, so dormant, reception off the hook. etc etc blah blah
teal gin
30 May 2014 @ 01:25 am
Every act of genius, Carl Jung said, is an act "contra naturam": against the natural course of things. Indeed, every effort to achieve psychological integration requires a knack for breaking out of the trance of normal daily life -- to do what doesn't come natural.

The eighteenth-century mystic Jacob Boehme had a similar perspective. The great secret to becoming enlightened, he said, is "to walk in all things contrary to the world."

Qabalist teacher Paul Foster Case agreed. He said that living an ethical and spiritually intelligent life demands that we reverse the usual ways of thinking, speaking, and doing.

The way I see it, tending to my sanity and being in service to the world require me to be in a chronic state of rebellion.

But here's an important caveat: While the rebellion can and should be partially fueled by anger at the consensual mass hallucination that's mistakenly referred to as "reality," it must be primarily motivated by love and joy and the desire to bestow blessings. A healthy proportion, at least for me, seems to be 15% rage, indignation, and complaint, and 85% compassion, celebration, and lust for life.
Current Location: in my head
Current Mood: get through this, there are no second chances
Current Music: wrapped in lust and lunacy
teal gin
29 May 2014 @ 01:27 pm

Dear Edie,

I have a lot of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night. It said that Nothing Ever Happened, so don’t worry. It’s all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don’t know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever. Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught in immense milky ways of cloudy innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere, or one universal self. Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes through everything, is one thing. It’s a dream already ended. There’s nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the one vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born. The world you see is just a movie in your mind.

Your eternal old man,

Jack Kerouac

Current Location: lovely seeing you here
Current Mood: enjoying moods and images
Current Music: don't forget to be the way you are
teal gin
19 April 2014 @ 07:55 pm
I don't like it here anymore.
teal gin
02 December 2013 @ 10:21 pm
nobody wants to put up with my shit

not anymore
teal gin
02 December 2013 @ 10:19 pm
attention whores
how i suck you dry